I gave myself a quick lookover to make sure my shirt was well tucked in before walking towards the entrance. I had a business appointment with a ‘big man’ and had done my best to get there on time. As early as I got to the place, there were already a few people in, waiting to see him as well.

“This is going to be a long day”, I thought to myself as I made myself comfortable in a nearby chair outside.

Who is This?

As I was sitting there, a gentleman arrived. After a quick greeting he just breezed by and walked right into the building. I was confused; “Wasn’t I here before him?” I wondered, thinking (unconsciously hoping 😀 ) that the man will be asked to return and wait outside. Before I could even complete my thoughts, I heard the gentleman call out “Wofa” (meaning uncle) to which the ‘big man’ responded. After a few minutes this gentleman came back outside and asked the others he came with to join him inside. I was a bit annoyed, but begrudgingly accepted that although I had come early, this gentleman did not need to queue simply because he had closer access to the “big man” than I did.

Access Matters

This early morning episode taught me a humbling lesson even before my day had actually started…..access matters. This realization led me to a brief self-evaluation: Who do I have access to? Who has access to me? How have I valued and nurtured my relationships? How have I made the most of the opportunities God has blessed me with? Who have I denied access to me? The funny thing is, who we know really matters, especially in a country like ours. More importantly, how we treat people could make all the difference especially as we do not know when we will again meet them someday. Life does have a funny way of turning around sometimes.

Burning Bridges

I sometimes unconsciously shut people out when they hurt me or disappoint me in one way or another. I tell myself that maybe if I just keep to myself, no one will have access to hurt me or overstep their bounds. however the reality is that relationships will always matter as well as how we handle these relationships both in peaceful times and times of conflict. We must never burn bridges (at least not completely) because we never know when we will need to reconstruct them.

The Inner Circle

Despite the need to be on good terms with everyone as much as possible, we also need to remember that who we grant access to really matters. This by no means implies we should be snobbish or over-selective, but we do need to be intentional about who we allow to get close. Our inner circle must be intentionally built not necessarily for selfish reasons but because the harsh truth is that not everyone is genuine and not everyone is a friend. There are friends and acquaintances and we must learn to know the difference.


Back to the ‘big man’…..after a long wait, I was finally granted access to see him. My goal was achieved, which also reminded me that sometimes we will have to wait a pretty long time before we get what we want. Our attitude whilst waiting makes all the difference. Ask Jacob, who had to work 14 years to get the woman of his dreams 😉

Granted or Denied?

You have two tags in your hands: Access Granted and Access Denied. Who will you give these tags to and how will you treat them? Who needs to go and who needs to stay? The decision may momentarily be difficult but worth it in the long run.


Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *