Growing Pains

Ever heard the saying “Don’t grow up, it’s a trap!”?

If you want everything easy and in just a short matter of time, with no responsibilities, then growing up is not for you…and I don’t only mean age-wise, but on a maturity level as well.


Let me confess…I always thought my maturity level wasn’t bad at all for my age, till the school of life hit me hard, causing me to realize I’m not there just yet. Those who know me quite well know I can be a bit of a crybaby either when I’m happy or extremely frustrated (something I’m not really proud of), but what this weakness has taught me is that it’s okay to have feelings. However, how we handle these feelings and especially who we do it in front of is extremely important. Not everyone will have the patience to understand or empathize, and that is the hard truth I have come to accept: it’s time to grow up!

Growing up (emotionally, mentally etc.) is a much more painful process than we’d often like. How do we handle the stuff life throws at us? We never really know how strong (or weak) we are until things go just a little off course.

This week in particular has taught me a number of lessons I thought I had already overcome, and has brought me to a point of acceptance I may not have learnt any other way. It was on letting go, changing plans etc.

A Tight Grip

Sometimes we hold on so tightly to the things and people we love, thinking we can keep or sustain them with our own strength.

Newsflash: the tighter we hold on to something, the higher the chances of it slipping from our fingers. Before you disagree with me, let me explain why. At times, in holding on so tightly to things and people we love dearly, we unknowingly squeeze the life out of them. We get so engrossed in holding on and being good enough that we start losing sight of what actually makes the ones we love happy. We eventually become self-centered without knowing it, in an attempt to ‘get it right’. Before we realize it, we have become people we are really not. It is almost safe to say that holding on too tightly is quite selfish.

Recipe for Disaster

Every time I have decidedĀ  to let go, relax and let God take charge of affairs, things actually fall into place. Think about it; if our blessing started with God, what makes us think we can just get up along the way, tell God “Okay, I’ll take it from here, thank You”, and then take matters into our own hands? It’s an almost instant recipe for disaster! Yet still, we do so without knowing it till one day we hit the wall and crack. Relinquishing control is easier said than done, but is a difficult process that yields results.

Change of Plans

We don’t only hold on so tightly to people and things, but to our plans as well.

What if you had your own plans about going back to school, but something came up, forcing you to think of another way of paying for your fees?

Or what if in your grand plan, you should have been married by 26, but as at 28, ‘the one’ has still not found you?

Or you had your career path all figured out, but as at 30 you don’t even have a job, let alone see any promotion in sight?

Why the Delay? šŸ™

A delay in the fulfillment of plans does not always mean there is something wrong with you. Maybe, you’re just not ready to manage the magnitude of the blessing you’re hoping for. Perhaps there is something (or someone) better waiting for you at the end of the curve, or it’s simply just not time.

There are also times when we will need to work on our character before we can achieve our next level of growth. It’s often difficult to accept our shortcomings, but once we get past the acceptance stage, growth becomes easier.

The Best View

So, maybe life has thrown you a number of curveballs; some plans have to change and some things have to wait. That is no license to quit or to look down yourself, but rather a go-ahead for you to become a better person and re-route. After all, the best view, they say, comes after the hardest climb.


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